Heart and Mind

 

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.
Kurt Vonnegut, Sirens of the Titan

I’ve been finding myself exploring the idea of faith a bit more these days. Faith in myself. Faith in others. Faith in the future. Faith in something abstract, something bigger than the totality of all of that. 

It’s the latter that I catch myself contemplating, generally on my commute home, when the train is swaying, and a lack of cell service leaves me with my music and my thoughts. There’s something very comforting but quixotic in the simple and honest belief that things will be better, or that one’s actions will eventually lead to something infinite, intimate and warm. That honest belief that you can release control of the greater picture to something or someone else and focus on the present, the moment, the real.

With Mothers Day so recently behind us, and in realizing in recent years how very lucky I am to have such loving and supportive parents, the idea of faith and love have melted together a bit in my mind. As a parent, you’re told that you inherit this unlimited and unconditional love for your children. It’s a scary thing to contemplate, having loved nothing as much as my parents love me and my brothers. That unlimited capacity for love is particularly intimidating: the idea of a seemingly ever-expanding heart, an organ that, by its very nature needs, at times, to contract. How do you carve out intimacy and warmth in that infinite space?

Perhaps that’s what the afterlife is: a parent’s heart, and mankind’s unflappable faith in love.

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